Confidence…

I have something like 65 ½ hours until I leave for my vacation!!!  I’ve had the Pointer Sisters’ “I’m so Excited!” stuck in my head for a while now.  The funny thing is, it seems like everything has gotten crazier than normal at the office.  Praise the Lord for Brent, the new guy we hired to take over my job.  I worked with Brent over at another company, and it is just so nice to have him in the same office again.  The best part?  He knows his stuff!  I had visions of leaving on the cruise and having hell break loose and not being able to a) do anything about it and b) not actually getting to relax or get away from work.  But with Brent here, I’m confident that dad and I will actually get a break from (most) everything.

It’s nice to have confidence in something.

I realized yesterday how important it is to have confidence in the Lord.  Those of you who know me well know that I struggle with why God doesn’t answer my prayer for a spouse NOW.  I pray and pray and pray some more for God to answer that expeditiously, and yet He remains silent.  Well, not exactly silent.  He speaks to me in ways that always take me off guard, with words I don’t always want to hear.  Through the words of a song that I’ve heard a hundred times, a song that’s not even a Christian/Jesus song, I gained a small measure of peace about my single state.

Keith Urban re-made a song called, “Making Memories of Us.”  It is a beautiful song, and I’ve told several people that if I ever get married, I want my first dance song to be that one.  It’s just a gorgeous song (I really encourage you to find it somewhere and listen to it), but every time I hear it, I get sad.  I get sad because what Keith Urban sings is what I want and don’t have.  When I heard that song on Tuesday, for the first time I understood that God wants to give me what that song represents.  I really felt God saying to me, “This is what I want for you, too.  Trust me to provide for you exceedingly abundantly beyond what you could ask or imagine.  I will provide all you need in the right and perfect time for my own good purposes.”  More importantly, He reminded me that He hears each and every one of my prayers, even the ones where my spirit is so grieved that I cannot put words to my hurt and longing.  (For more on this, check out Romans 8)  If God hears our every groan in regards to our desire for completion in Him, then He must hear our prayers in regards to other areas of our lives.

I have confidence that the Lord of all creation works on our behalf to make us into the people He wants and needs us to be when we step back and let Him do what He does best.  And it’s not an immediate process.  God enjoys the journey of our faith because it’s through the struggle that we absorb His strength and character.  When we take the time to spend time with Him, we learn who He is.  And while we should always spend time in His word (which I need to do more often), I think that time spent with Him in prayer is even sweeter because it’s one on one time.

Confidence means not having to worry about the outcome.  I don’t have to worry about work while I’m gone, because I have confidence that Brent will handle things.  And I don’t have to worry about my dreams, because I have confidence that God will handle things.  Confidence means being at peace.  Thank you, God, that you inspire confidence in your children!