My Newest Venture

Dear Brides:
We all know that getting married is one of the happiest events of your life, but let’s face it; it’s a pretty stressful time. Thank heaven for Bridesmaids! They surround you with love and support. They wear poofy dresses that will be absolutely perfect to wear to a random party someday in the future. They carefully craft fabulous showers to show you how loved you are.
But what happens when your bridesmaids aren’t able to adequately fulfill their duties?
Announcing my latest venture*: Professional bridesMaid Services (PbMS)
PbMS will match you with a highly competent, skilled Professional bridesMaid who will accompany you to dress fittings, plan showers, conduct private therapy sessions and distract your mother so YOU can stay focused on the things that really matter.
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
Q: Why is the “b” in bridesMaid lowercase?
A: First, let me say that you look stunning in that dress. It’s so slimming, and that ruching really accents all the right places. The “b”? Well, it’s not so much that the “b” is lowercase, but that the “M” is capitalized. At PbMS, we believe that there should be an emphasis on “Maid” because she is there to serve you. After all, it is the BRIDE’S special day!
Q: Will your Professional bridesMaid actually be in my wedding?
A: No, our certified Professional bridesMaid won’t actually be in your wedding. But she will be there on your special day to offer support, fetch forgotten items, and talk you down off the ledge when you’re convinced your little sister tore your veil.
Q: What types of services will my Professional bridesMaid provide?
A: Our certified Professional bridesMaids provide a range of services from emergency therapist to shower planning to full-time Bride caretaker. We offer packages as well as an a la carte menu of services, so we’ll sit down with you to discover weaknesses in your current bridesmaid lineup, and plan a custom package to match.
*This isn’t an actual business venture. Unless you think I could make some money doing this, in which case, yes, this is an actual business venture.