The Ladies Who Lunch
So I’ve been trying to apply the Weigh Down principles for a week and a half now. And it’s been hard. I’m struggling to curb these unhealthy desires for food I don’t need and I find myself fixating on food more often than I used to. I understand that the first few weeks of this will be difficult; changing a fundamental long-term habit takes time and effort and is a rather daunting task.
Yesterday, though, I went to lunch with a woman who is rapidly becoming a huge source of inspiration and encouragement to me. We were talking about the rough places of our lives and I confessed to her that I’ve not felt particularly close to God lately. My relationship with God has been a matter of will the last few months. Like Marilyn Meberg says, when you are at the moments of crisis in your life, you go back to what you know, not what you feel. I know that my Redeemer lives and that He will stand with me on that day, so that’s what I’ve been clinging to, in spite of the feeling that heaven is unresponsive and far away. My friend told me that she was thinking about me the other day (which made me feel warm and fuzzy inside) and that she had the thought that this journey that I’m on with my weight will be life changing for me. She said that she got the distinct impression that when I come out the other side of this battle that I will have learned a lesson that will change not only my life but others’ as well and that I will be able to bless others with my testimony.
Wow. What an amazing thought. See, I know that God promises that all things will come together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose, but it’s really easy to forget. It’s really easy to doubt that God could make something good come from something icky. And it’s very easy to forget that I have been called according to His purposes, not mine. I really needed the words that Jen spoke over me yesterday. I needed to hear affirmation that God hadn’t forgotten me, that He wasn’t leaving me to fend for myself.
Do I suddenly feel incredibly close to God? No, but I feel like I can put one foot in front of the other and take those steps even though I can’t see where I’m headed. I have no idea what God is going to do with me and through me, but my deepest desire is that it bring glory and honor to Him. I don’t deserve the many blessings that He’s given me over the years, but I’m grateful for them and I pray that God would give me the privilege of using me however He sees fit.